UNDER PRESSURE

So before reading this blog. please click this music video w/c im listening while making this blog. you too should listen to this while reading:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNGQor3dED8

hi. welcome to my "ISSUES" blog again. this blog is about me and the changes that has occured to me. so just last night(Oct. 25) i went out to see some of my friends. the feeling i get wasnt good and i was hoping that id go home atleast saying to myself that i had fun. i used to be a party addict before. it wasnt just all about party really. i would define it as something beyond than that. its being w/friends, meeting new friends and over all the SATISFYING GOODVIBEZ FUN I GET! that's really all about it.

now a days and after years. some people do change. as for me i dint change. its just that this time i think that seeing people, especially my close friends, who has issues just gave me the feeling of confusion. issues that they couldnt handle right. it made me confused because what was before wasnt the exact view i am seeing now. it is destructing to see them that way. i am destructed in a way that i couldnt be what i used to be before, being in my Hyper All Out Mode! because the feeling i get wasnt fun. but i must say that its okay with me to be that way than acting fun when the truth is i am not having one. some people say its part of growing up. well i guess a part of it YES!. but for me its really the people you are with. when you have goodvibez friends nothing could go wrong. i mean basing on my experience id be more effective having fun when w/this kind of fabulous people. i could even spend and just spend on something for as long as i am having fun. but today, oh em geeeeee i cudnt even take out my wallet and spend on something because ..why would i spend on something when theres nothing worth on spending? and the people im with isnt that in their normal state too right? well to some people maybe they wouldnt care at all. well i used to be like that before. but now all i can think of is for me to just graduate soon and work. and go to other place and their party! i just hope that my friends will realize more to life. and not be trapped in a box w/their undying, shallow, cycle issues or problems in life that they tend to forget their friends they are with.

so yea i am under pressured not because of their issues in life. but rather i am under pressured that they wouldnt even realize or even be concerned to someone who they are with. i mean whatever their problem is should only be once said and felt. they shouldnt spoil the night away just because of the craps in their life. i believe that we all have problems in life but it is only ourselves who can find solution in it. nobody is going to be there and fix, clean your shit. a friend will be there for you but the choices has to be made only by ourselves. alcohol wont change anything. sex wouldnt change anything to escape something you think it could. drugs is never a remedee. etc.. etc.. =)

it was the longest time. i finally again touched the sands of the beach

October 19, 2008 kang celebrated her bday w/us. A beach somewhere in Samal. I am so happy and excited to go the beach. I cant wait to just plunge into the beach and just walk barefoot. I dont know.. but i've been really longing to go to the beach. Maybe because i was deprived by it due to my social occurrences and i need to be somewhere quiet. I was always out during the night only before. I used to party a lot that's why i am more active during the night but i guess when i entered 3rd year college and now almost graduating, having my major subjects changed my lifestyle. I just dont want to go out partying and drinking anymore but something else. I know that being in the beach is one of those things that i am looking for and now that i was able to go to the beach it was really a fullfiling feeling! I just loved every single moment of it. The weather cooperated to us plus i have two so GOODVIBEZ friends who i was with. Life is really great when having great companies. No issues at all. Just enjoying God's gift and life itself.

farewell =(

Lovely and i met when we were in grade 6 and till then our friendship lasted. the original group was aira,cherry,lovely,yuki,jana, and rusty. i am proud to say that i am belonged to this group. i must say my group is really different from our other batchmates group coz we are pretty much diverse. we werent that climbing-to-the-top kinda like group. instead we are just enjoying what is for the moment and respect each others feelings and interests. we may have different interests, likes and even personalities but it's just amazing that, though not as intact as before but still a few of us remained, we still manage to be together. during high school we are the kind of group, who unlike other group, isnt that together most of the time really but still we consider as something normal w/our friendship. i like the simplicity of my group. and i believe whatever i am now they are part of all the progress that changed in me. Lovely was the "flexible" and overly ENERGETIC ANIMAL (haha) in the group who i cudnt take bringing in a public place coz for sure it would really be a mess just laughing and losing my stature of being a normal person. i missed those days. lovely is really a fun friend and damn she farts the most among us. hahahaha!

October 18,20 2008 these are the dates were this pictures are taken. i am making the most of it seeing my friend lovely who is leaving on the 21st of october to Sweden. this is also the time that i should be making up w/ lovely and her kid gaby since i only get to see them during my semestral break, christmas break. i am astonished seeing my inaanak grew and this time can really walk! i must say it sucks to feel that someone is leaving. i really hate when someone leaves especially when that someone is very close to my heart. so the thing is what really motivated me to blog this is the experience and realizations i have during these times. time flies really fast and now i am almost graduating and everyone too is leaving. me and lovley was separated a long time but indeed friends are really friends despite the distance and shortcomings. before she left ive seen true friends who would really dare to find time despite the hectic schedule just to atleast see that friend and say our farewell. for me its really uplifting seeing that kind of heart and attitude of a person. i think it is also a sign that we have become matured. and i would conclude that people who has that attitude goes to show how genuine all his/her action in showing her being a true a friend or a person in general. me and aira really made an effort to see lovely and her kid! aira has a pm shift call center and i have my own business too. cherry and yuki is at manila and they made effort too to see lovely and they even fetch lovely to the domestic airport and accompany lovely to NAIA for her connecting flight. and now i saw lovely pix in Sweden. i just wish her nothing but all the best. that she may prosper to whatever endeavors she has in life.

old picture of my original tropa:

who's my dream girl fantasy?

ok before anything else i am not a pervert posting this two-pieced sexy model adriana lima! so just today someone asked me when i'm planning to have a girlfriend? i just simply said. when i have the money and time. then a friend asked me who's my dream girl fantasy? well i know who and this is her. she's my ANGEL. aside from her physical gift, her personality outshines and that's what i like the most =) blah blah blah.. just blogging and sharing... yada yada



on the other hand, i was thinking since adriana is too busy ramping wearing one of those holly shit expensive heavy tight diamond lingeries ....why wont i think of someone else close to me who WHO..WHo well i can also consider as sexy as her. im so fortunate that all these years this sexy babe is w/me and also taking up nursing course! oh shit! presenting after adriana lima COMES KARLA JEAN DAVID!!! kang hahaha weee i think this is fun and yea sexy ka nmn tlga ah! again presenting - - ever gorgeous caliente flaming @#%$^!!

lets start w/the logo - "you cant be filthy rich..without getting a little dirty"

so yea it all started me watching Smallville, Grey's anatomy and Lost that i had the interest or was hooked up w/ this hot new t.v series. well i can only conclude that maybe my life isnt all the time in active or in action. sometimes life is a bore! so here i am in our couch watching films, or for this matter-tv series! just for me to be amused and escape boredom.

DIRTY SEXY MONEY. this is my latest t.v series that i am hooked upon. THE DARLINGS family is making my boredom turned to fantasy, laughter, laughter and just laughter. god! their richness sometimes is giving them the very dumb reason they can think of! and yea i can also conclude that the power of money is never a subsititue for someones happiness or maybe otherwise? haha. being to dirty indeed gives this family the opportunity to pursue their RICHER lives! yes rich then MORE RICH! i have so much episodes to watch for so far this is what i got from the film!! hahahahaha THE DARLINGS!

when a friendship ends.

I think that part of growing up is realizing so much of things that undergone by someone through experiences. Experiences will either make a person bad or good. The words GOOD and BAD are very profound in human experiences. Nevertheless each and everyone of us knew simply what these two words mean. I believe that we are faced with decisions and these decisions will comprise what our life in the future.

In my world, I can say that I am surrounded with so much friends. This isn’t me boasting but this is me telling or sharing to whoever reads this that sometimes in life we have to remove friends that aren’t really real to themselves because in the end you would also realize that you are just one of his/her toy. I’ve come to realize that I too is a victim of ones fakeness. I live life optimistically and I am definitely a loving and kind person. I wrote this because just recently I have encountered one of my friends who really got into my nerves. She was just so pathetic in life who doesn’t know herself that well and even her friends. She doesn’t know who’s real and who isn’t coz as I’ve concluded she to doesn’t know herself that much. Anyway moving on I just wana say that I have completely forgotten whatever happened last week. Now it’s time to start again a new life! I really love life when no one cares the OH Shit life in this world.

Today I have this motto in life: NOW A DAYS MAYBE BEING TOO KIND ISNT REALLY NECESSARY. FOR ALL YOU KNOW IN LIFE NO ONE REALLY CARES WHATS HAPPENING TO SOMEONES LIFE BUT THEIR OWN LIVES.

Life for me before was just all about me welcoming friends into my life. But I have changed. I am self-assured that I have in my heart who my real friends are. They are my tropa in grade six grade school days and 5 of them remained and I’m sure 2-3 of them are very much in their genuine state. The remaining still are pending. But I love to be their company and getting to know more of them but still no commitments. Some of them thought that I treat them so close to my heart and yup I told them that personally but because of the person who started to make me be like this so I guess I just have to hang on that vibe. We all have differences but RESPECT is never an exemption regardless of what you are for the moment!

Okay so ill get into it and be direct. Today, I will put some boundaries. Even to my OTHER friends who still I am with. I will be very very careful to myself in showing so much of my kindness. I won’t be a bore to your life but a gift instead. I will be true to you and be a good friend and I will promise that. But if in the end I get something negative from you and doesn’t show me any considerations, respect for a friend, love then it will never be easy for me now to remove you into my life. After all you never knew how to care and love to a friend who showed you nothing but just ME being there for you in those days. People should know that I share blessings in my life and that goes bringing those “friends” with me despite their standards and issues in life. Infact I risk my reputation but whoever cares my reputation in this world BUT only God. God knows who I am and I’m sure He is proud of me.

To end this up all I can I say is peace, love and respect to everyone.