UNDER PRESSURE

So before reading this blog. please click this music video w/c im listening while making this blog. you too should listen to this while reading:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNGQor3dED8

hi. welcome to my "ISSUES" blog again. this blog is about me and the changes that has occured to me. so just last night(Oct. 25) i went out to see some of my friends. the feeling i get wasnt good and i was hoping that id go home atleast saying to myself that i had fun. i used to be a party addict before. it wasnt just all about party really. i would define it as something beyond than that. its being w/friends, meeting new friends and over all the SATISFYING GOODVIBEZ FUN I GET! that's really all about it.

now a days and after years. some people do change. as for me i dint change. its just that this time i think that seeing people, especially my close friends, who has issues just gave me the feeling of confusion. issues that they couldnt handle right. it made me confused because what was before wasnt the exact view i am seeing now. it is destructing to see them that way. i am destructed in a way that i couldnt be what i used to be before, being in my Hyper All Out Mode! because the feeling i get wasnt fun. but i must say that its okay with me to be that way than acting fun when the truth is i am not having one. some people say its part of growing up. well i guess a part of it YES!. but for me its really the people you are with. when you have goodvibez friends nothing could go wrong. i mean basing on my experience id be more effective having fun when w/this kind of fabulous people. i could even spend and just spend on something for as long as i am having fun. but today, oh em geeeeee i cudnt even take out my wallet and spend on something because ..why would i spend on something when theres nothing worth on spending? and the people im with isnt that in their normal state too right? well to some people maybe they wouldnt care at all. well i used to be like that before. but now all i can think of is for me to just graduate soon and work. and go to other place and their party! i just hope that my friends will realize more to life. and not be trapped in a box w/their undying, shallow, cycle issues or problems in life that they tend to forget their friends they are with.

so yea i am under pressured not because of their issues in life. but rather i am under pressured that they wouldnt even realize or even be concerned to someone who they are with. i mean whatever their problem is should only be once said and felt. they shouldnt spoil the night away just because of the craps in their life. i believe that we all have problems in life but it is only ourselves who can find solution in it. nobody is going to be there and fix, clean your shit. a friend will be there for you but the choices has to be made only by ourselves. alcohol wont change anything. sex wouldnt change anything to escape something you think it could. drugs is never a remedee. etc.. etc.. =)